How People Become Stuck...

Stuck, stagnate, rigid, and unmoved are some perceptions that many people currently have in regards to their careers, relationships, or just life in general. The real question is, "How does one get to this point?". It's easier to get stuck than many realize and it happens very subtly. Typically, an event or set of events occur in life that are outside of one's control. The event(s) bring out fears and distresses, which causes a person to dive into a defensive mindset. This mindset is all about minimizing exposure and vulnerability. At some point, a person will have experienced being vulnerabile and at this fragile moment was embarassed or harmed in some way. Most of the time it is when a person believes that they have been humaliated publically, especially in front of peers. A mental note is made to avoid all similar circumstances in the future. In short, this person has made a commitment to never take a personal risk again. The problem lies in the fact that a mindset of growth requires risk, failure, evaluation, adjustment, more risk taking. If there is a core belief to avoid risk, then personal growth becomes nearly impossible. To change this a person needs to develop a set of mindset principles to inoculate the negative viral (non-risk taking) mindset principles. Develop a new mantra, like, "failure is sometimes unavoidable, but growing due to a failure is always beneficial. Therefore, I'm okay if I have failure points in my life, and I possess a conviction to learn and grow when personal failures arise!"

Exercise:

A significant failure of mine was when I ... (yes it is okay to admit failure).

I realize now that I sit in this moment alive and safe, in spite of my failure.

As I reflect on this failure, I'll take away the following lessons I have learned...

When I see these lesson applied to my daily life, I can see myself...

(Have fun with the exercise)